Member-only story
All Other Trans People Are Real, But *I* Am A Terrible Fraud
A Personal Account of Trans Doubts
TW: Eating Disorder, Transphobia
The first time I knew a trans person, I was in high school. He was a trans guy, about my age, and we had been friends for years. We became closer friends after he came out. We spent time drinking on his roof. I tried on his binder, wore men’s clothing with him. He drew a mustache on my face. We went to Rocky Horror Picture Show together in “drag” — me dressed as a boy, him as a girl.
I drove him to trans support group meetings. When a trans guy friend of his from Myspace came to visit, I hung out with the two of them all week long, wandering around town for hours, just talking, buying snacks at Walgreens and drinking Vitamin Water in the kitchen. I felt at home with both of them.
He and I talked about gender stuff sometimes. His therapy, his transition plans, his dad. How ignorant people could be. When people called him she, I corrected them. I didn’t understand why it was so difficult to get right. He and I went to a Dresden Dolls concert together, cosplaying, for no clear or relevant reason, as country boys. I had the name Jebediah written on my arm, he had some other kind of old-timey, provincial man’s name written on his. I can’t remember what it was. We loved the songs by…
