How Do I Become Less Obedient?

Autistic Advice#12: Noncompliance is a liberating social skill — but it must be developed.

Devon Price
16 min readOct 2, 2023

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Photo by Zulmaury Saavedra on Unsplash

Welcome back to Autistic Advice, a semi-regular advice column where I respond to reader questions about neurodiversity, accessibility, disability justice, and self-advocacy from my perspective as an Autistic psychologist. You can submit questions or suggest future entries in the series via my Tumblr ask box, linked here.

Today’s question comes from a rebellious and anarchy-minded Autistic person who wants to get better at breaking unjust rules — but they’re debilitated by guilt, and the fear of getting caught. They write:

I was just wondering if you have any advice/methods for becoming less afraid of/obedient to authority. Mentally and emotionally I don’t respect the powers that be but a lot of times i can’t make myself disobey because it feels so terrifying. For example: love the idea of stealing from my local grocery store but whenever I attempt it I am overcome with guilt and shame and fear that it makes the whole thing kind of unbearable. I know it’s not hurting anyone and I want to be able to practice rebell

Thank you so much for writing in with this question, Anon. So many of the questions I receive from readers involve striving to develop a stronger sense of self with a greater capacity to exercise agency. A complex brew of social exclusion and trauma teaches many Autistic people to prioritize the values of other people over the beliefs and ideals that we hold ourselves.

Masking Autism is all about rendering oneself more compliant to external pressure and authority. Our bodies are…

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Devon Price

He/Him or It/Its. Social Psychologist & Author of LAZINESS DOES NOT EXIST and UNMASKING AUTISM. Links to buy: https://linktr.ee/drdevonprice