How to date & hook up in a changing trans body.

You don’t need to pass, you don’t have to wait — your life begins now.

My first Grindr profile picture, circa May 2021. It got a lot of positive attention; the tits and my estrogenized skin were not a problem.

How should a newly transitioning person embark on dating, when their appearance and identity are still rapidly shifting and they’re not sure how they’re read by the people they want to get with?

Should a person wait to date until their identity feels more cemented, or dive forward, knowing that a ton about them is still going to change?

And can a trans guy really find acceptance among queer men if he doesn’t “pass” (and might not ever)?

These are the questions we are pondering in this week’s Sex Lib. I’ll let the anonymous question asker explain their dilemma:

Oh Anon, I am overjoyed that you’ve written in, because it gives me an opportunity to distill everything that I have learned in the past four years of slutty gay transgender life in one place, hopefully preventing you and others from delaying your new life the way that I once did.

(I recognize, of course, that I cannot actually keep you from making your own wonderful mistakes, and I wouldn’t want…