I just came out as trans. Why am I suddenly so angry?

Imagining a better life can make you hyper-aware of all that you’re missing.

A photo of a white trans man with a buzzcut and glasses, giving a concerned, reflective expression. Courtesy of Nekane Gonzalez on Unsplash.

A newly-out trans man living in a highly conservative and gender-repressive environment just wrote in, wondering why coming out to himself has suddenly made him so damn angry. Let’s discuss:

(Note: Anon uses the phrase TMA to describe his girlfriend, which stands for transmisogyny-affected. Trans women are TMA; cis women, cis men, trans men, and nonbinary people who are not trans feminine are TME, or transmisogyny-exempt. For a primer on what transmisogyny is, see here.)

Thanks for writing in Anon. I believe a couple of different factors are driving your sudden-onset rage at sexism.

First, because you have finally admitted to yourself that you are a trans man and that you might want to do something about that, your emotions and body awareness have started to come back online following years of repression.

Dysphoric trans people who are stuck in “egg mode” are fantastic at shutting off all feeling, because there is no point in constantly paying attention to a…