I think every single trait that gets described as an "Autism trait" or an "ADHD trait" or whatever is a human trait, because we're human beings and not fundamentally alien from other humans in any real way. And I think your description of your reactions to your mother's assertions and your reasons for being so firm make complete sense! If you were a child, or if you were institutionalized, this entirely sensible expression of selfhood would maybe be called pathological demand avoidance, but there's nothing wrong with it at all. Really points to how socially constructed and inherently linked to power dynamics all of this is.