If I may, as a queer disabled person — the phrase “differently abled” is very hurtful without meaning to be. It is usually used in a context that betrays some discomfort with the reality of disability. It’s euphemistic in a way abled people sometimes are, in a way that denies the oppression and challenges of being disabled, and it doesn’t feel good to hear. You can just say disabled. It’s not a bad word. That’s what nearly all disabled people prefer. Happy to send resources on this if it would be helpful.
Keep up the great writing. <3 I loved this essay. You’ve laid out such a strong, evocative, clear case for straight people here and conveyed the frustrations of not being properly seen so very well. I look forward to reading more from you.