I'm so sorry and so enraged for what has been taken away from you. And watching the Supreme Court strip away anti-discrimination protections, I can see clear as day countless people like you having similar conversations with employers, HOAs, school administrators, and leasing agents that you had with your rule-following, totally-not-homophobic co-op.

Like you, I have always been a radical. But I'm finding myself more and more with each passing year taking greater relief in the fact I live in a solidly Democratic state with a Democratic governor who has a trans sister, and who understands the fight for queer rights. I'm cheered by the election of a progressive mayor in my city, one who wants to reopen shuttered schools and launch an entire office of LGBTQ relations. When I saw him at the pride parade this year, I waved and cheered. With every other city mayor who has turned up to such events over the years, I've only rolled my eyes.

Things are changing for me. Even as my faith in governmental systems erodes with various supreme court decisions and laws being passed, my idealism and perfectionism fades too, and I can feel genuine gratitude for the institutions we have that are working, and the legal protections that have made a palpable difference. They aren't small in their impact. These laws shape where we can live, the public spaces we can occupy, the healthcare we can access... and the lives we get to lead, the people we get to be.

Thank you again for sharing this story. I am beginning to really "get" the internal contradictions and dance between idealism and practicality that is needed to survive in the real world, too.