It seems like maybe you’re trying to not understand it, because Ansari did not say “Come over here and give me a B.J.” and you know it.
He repeatedly said they could just “hang out”. Every time she rebuffed him, moved away, ran to the bathroom, CRIED, and showed distress, he offered up a fake offer to just “hang out”…and then he would try to fondle her, make out with her, or shove his fingers in his mouth again.
Do people need a video reenactment of how graphic, uncomfortable, and disrespectful this encounter would have been, to understand how frequently Grace’s actions signalled “no” and Ansari’s signalled “I don’t care about your no” ?
If you don’t understand it, you need to read the words of people who have been coerced into sex, like me, and work to understand. I believe you have that capacity. I have written an essay on exactly what my experience of coercion was like. Please go seek it out, read it, and consider that you are not someone who is positioned to have expertise on this topic.