Leo, I don’t think you realize this, but your comment is entitled, unsubstantive, and as unwanted in this conversation as Ansari’s advances were to the woman in the article. Not because you’re a man — men are victims of sexual assault too — but because you cannot identify with the woman’s experience.

You have an easy time saying no? I’m happy for you. You won’t get raped by Aziz Ansari anytime soon. That’s great. But that means you have nothing meaningful to introduce to this conversation. The way you could contribute is by listening.

Your comments are not original or challenging or thought-provoking; lots of people who share your ease with saying “no” have brought the exact same ideas to bear on this issue. And all of those comments have been a distraction and a waste of my and my readers’ time. You should be listening right now and striving to understand what this experience is like. It will deepen your understanding of reality.

I’m sure you will find my words rude, but your outright disregard for other people’s experience, and your willingness to steamroll over other people in this conversation when you have zero relevant expertise, is even more rude. I’m sure you’re a smart person, and capable of being sensitive and thoughtful — use those skills now. Listen, consider that you are not the center of human experience, and imagine that there are things you stand to learn in this scenario.

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