Listen to Resentment

And anger, dread, and all the other negative emotions you’ve been told to mask.

Recently, I was on author Glennon Doyle’s podcast We Can Do Hard Things discussing my first book, Laziness Does Not Exist. Glennon and her co-hosts Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle all strongly connected with the book’s anti-work, anti-exploitation message (which I was super grateful for), and they asked me for some parting advice for anyone listening who still struggles with compulsive people-pleasing and over-extending themselves out of a misplaced sense of obligation.

I advised that people get better at listening to dread. Here’s the clip:

As a masked Autistic person who used to only feel safe when I was busily placating others, I’ve found listening to dread really helps dislodge my priorities from the demands of others.

It used to be that whenever another person requested something of me — a long, unstructured lunch date at a restaurant where I could barely afford to eat, help with coursework while I was barely fighting to juggle my own assignments, or attendance at a lengthy religious ceremony many miles away from home that was certain to make me miserable — my instinct was to say yes.