My Autistic Journey Into Mindfulness

I’ve spent my life shutting out my surroundings. It’s time to try embracing reality instead.

Photo by author. Description in piece.

There’s a foot-sized painted ceramic salamander sitting on a stone next to my neighbor’s garage. He’s so charming to me, with swirls of navy, burnt sienna, and pale green snaking across his white flesh. His tail is broken. His eyes are bewildered and hollow. I come to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk just to marvel at him.

My overly sensitive, yet withdrawn Autistic self feels an attachment to this inert creature instantly. I don’t empathize with people easily, but with cute objects and animals, I feel a sad, tender yearning for connection. Along with those feelings, there comes a burst of quiet gratitude for the homeowner who thought to put such a delightful little friend in their front yard. For the few moments I’m with this salamander, I’m transported away from all my social anxiety and fretting about deadlines, and find some belonging in the material world.

I’ve walked down this exact sidewalk every single day for months. I’ve lived in this neighborhood and paced its side streets for over eight years. How have I never noticed this salamander before?

How much delight have I lost the chance to experience, because I’m always so swept up in…