Other than fear, what has happened to me as a result of Trump’s election?

You say that as if living in terror isn’t bad enough. As if fear is some thing of no consequence — that doesn’t impact my health, how I move through the world, how capable I am of taking care of myself and others, how capable I am of making money and working and doing good and connecting with others and participating in society. How deeply, heartlessly, willfully ignorant of you to think that.

But I’ll indulge in a list. Because I have lost a lot as a result of this election.

I lost an hour every day for a year calling various Senators to preserve health insurance.

I lost hours in the late evening convincing trans friends not to commit suicide as a response to loss of health insurance.

I lost net neutrality. I lost the internet speed and affordability necessary to do my job.

Trans women I know and care about have lost their passports.

The HHS has threatened to define me out of existence and invalidate my legal documentation.

Economic disparity has worsened in a way that impacts countless people around me, including friends and neighbors.

Relatives and friends in more rural areas of the Midwest have seen worsened economic stagnation.

A rapist who will gladly take away my access to abortion was appointed to the Supreme Court.

My LGBTQ students lost civil rights protections in their schools.

People I care about lost the ability to vote due to purging of records.

People of color that I know and care about have lost the ability to live in this country.

We have all lost years of life on this planet due to worsening climate change.

I have lost the respect for, and love of, numerous people in my life.

I have lost sleep. I have lost mental health. I have lost presence of mind.

LGBTQ people across this country have lost the ability to take part in business transactions without the risk of discrimination.

I have lost the ability to have birth control covered by my employer, due to the expansion of religious exemptions.

I have lost hope.

I have lost any recourse for incidents of police brutality and over-reach.

I have lost the tax money that could have paid for infrastructure and social services, which will now be devoted to tax breaks for the wealthy, and to war.

My city has lost even more schools, mental health facilities, teachers, and social services. I see children, mentally ill people, addicted people, and many other suffering more and more every day.

I can’t believe you are so ignorant as to think what’s happened is immaterial. It’s not a good faith thing to say, but at this point I am so bitter that I don’t care — I hope the consequences come for you. I hope they darken your doorstep as bleakly as they have covered mine. I hope you suffer and you realize what a mistake it was to clutch ignorance to your empty heart.

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