Thank you SO much for speaking out about this, and modeling for others what reflection and change can look like. I used to cope with abuse by viewing my abuser as having something 'wrong' with him on a pathological level, but ultimately, it turned out he is Autistic just like me. We're humans. Everyone with a mental health diagnosis or experience of stigma is. And so we can all learn to behave more effectively and compassionately -- and we are all capable of doing harm if we don't develop healthy strategies. Just as you said, the diagnosis does not do the abuse. This is still a very unpopular stance sadly, I am grateful to you for raising it.