Thank you so much for this comment Jim! I totally get what you mean about how being small, easily intimidated, and nerdy can leave us otherwise privileged people feeling like we’re harmless or that we can’t aggress against other people — accidentally or not.
It definitely took a while for me to realize that I could both feel super insecure *and* be guilty of being aggressive or oppressive, sometimes at the exact same moment.
One really nice side effect of coming to realize my own complexity and power is that I feel less afraid of people these days, and I feel more empowered to try and see them and help them. It’s amazing how much that has helped me connect with people in new and meaningful ways. At least on my better, more humble/present days anyway!