The last mass shooter was a white man. And the last one. And the last one. And the last one. It’s not an absolute rule, but it means something that the vast majority are people in that demographic. I think it has to do with externalizing causes of one’s problems, and feeling entitled to success and good treatment but not being given the emotional skills to connect readily with anyone. I don’t hate white men. I think the way we raise boys and treat men is pretty deeply isolating and emotionally limiting. It exacerbates problems like this. I’m not out to demonize men. I kinda am one. I am distressed by the way men are denied the ability to be sensitive, to help others, to ask for help, to seek out mental health and medical treatment. We need to address the way we define what a man is, and conceptualize what a man should be — it will make a lot of men less bitter and lost and rageful, and fewer events like these will happen. If our culture had a more open understanding of what men can be, I would have realized I was one far sooner.

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