There must be consequences for hateful behavior. And I think we should do everything in our power to not financially support abusers and bigots. In Roseanne’s case, that may mean only watching her show on a platform that does not pay her (if you get my drift). In Chik-fil-a’s case, consequences taking the form of a boycot and protests are appropriate and moral.
But I do not believe guilt and shame are good motivators. Educate friends, give them resources, speak encouragingly and positively about the change a boycot can bring. But, in my opinion, shaming them or pushing them to make the decision to boycot does not work. They have to embrace the behavior on their own. You won’t always be there to see what they’re ordering, nor should you be. But framing an action as a good thing you can do, rather than an awful thing you must stop, is more motivating anyway. A lot of public health research in particular speaks to that.