Yeah, I honestly myself had a lot of toxically masculine traits and behaviors, and I definitely used "negging" as a strategy to get the upper hand in relationships with men when I was assumed to be a woman. The gendered layers to it, in addition to the relationship dysfunction layers, is a Lot. But yes, it also gives me some degree of compassion toward my ex, to know that just as he mistreated me out of self loathing, I did the same to him.