You are misunderstanding me. I didn’t detach from specific aspects of female socialization because I did not like them — believe it or not, I am aware many women don’t like baking cakes. Rather, I detacted from many aspects of female socialization because female identity and being seen as female was not desirable or accurate for me. Some of the female role expectations that I did not absorb as relevant for me are actually things I do enjoy doing. I had to learn them as an adult, though, because I did not internalize that I was supposed to do them. Similarly, some of the male role expectations I internalized are things I do not enjoy — such as the need to seem tough in a toxically masculine way. I don’t like having that hangup, but I have it, because I always saw myself as eligible for fulfilling male norms.

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